DEAR ABBY: I met my spouse after we have been very younger and into partying. We’re now middle-aged and heading in numerous instructions.
I deal with bodily and psychological well-being. I work out each day, eat wholesome and keep a constructive angle. She spends her free time mendacity round, ingesting, smoking and continually exposing herself to negativity via the web. She’s now on medicine for melancholy and anxiousness.
My makes an attempt at dialogue are principally met with anger and defensiveness or are dismissed as “a nasty time to speak.” I really feel we now have reached a crossroads in our well being. I would like her to be as match and wholesome as potential so we are able to take pleasure in our golden years collectively. How do I get her to hitch me in a more healthy way of life earlier than it is too late? — WILLING IN WASHINGTON
DEAR WILLING: Your spouse could have reached a fork within the highway of her life. In case your description is correct, you’re residing with a lady who’s depressed, offended, defensive, anxious and self-destructive.
A method to get her to hitch you in a more healthy way of life can be to persuade her that her personal path to wellness will start with consulting a psychological well being skilled earlier than it’s too late and the harm she is doing to herself turns into irreversible. Whenever you do, ensure that she is aware of you’re saying it since you love her and wish to take pleasure in a protracted and glad life together with her — one thing that’s clearly not occurring for her proper now. If she nonetheless refuses, then proceed doing what you are doing, recognizing you can’t save somebody who refuses to assist herself.
DEAR ABBY: My finest good friend is retired and alone, as am I. She lately moved subsequent door so we can assist one another if wanted.
Since COVID, we really feel protected seeing one another as a result of we by no means exit in public locations and all our buying is finished with supply or curbside pickup. She would not prefer to cook dinner, however I like to, so most evenings she’s invited to dinner. She comes over about 4 instances per week and often takes residence the leftovers for the opposite nights.
What bothers me is I often eat dinner on the identical time, and I remind her of it every time I invite her, but she’s invariably late. At first it was only a minute or two, nevertheless it’s getting later and later. Tonight I waited 20 minutes for her.
I time my dishes to the minute, and I like my meals scorching and never overcooked. I do not wish to make a giant deal out of this, however I am changing into more and more irritated. Any ideas on how I can get the message throughout with out jeopardizing our friendship? — FRESH MEALS IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR FRESH: Your good friend could also be disorganized or simply plain inconsiderate. The subsequent time you invite her, inform her that since you like your dinner scorching — and never overcooked — you’ll begin consuming on the appointed time and not proceed to attend for her. You do not have to be imply about it, simply agency, after which observe via.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.